Sunday, March 20, 2011

Questioning the world...

Much of my stress the last couple of weeks has been relieved by the arrival of spring and the attendance of a work conference...  simply seeing thing start to turn green makes a huge difference for me, and talking to a lot of like minded people with similar issues makes me feel less alone.  Job possibilities arising from those conversations help too- although neither is quite where I would like to be.

Speaking of spring, today is the first day of spring- the vernal equinox, and Oestra and the full moon (ok, techically the full moon was Friday night, but close enough).  Why does this matter enough to write about?  Because a year ago I wouldn't have even noticed.  This year, I not only know it is happening, but am celebrating it by dying eggs, cleaning, and if the weather allows, going outside, planting something, and thanking the universe.  Wait- thanking the universe?  Where did THAT come from?   Long story short, I have several pagan friends, but I've never much thought about their beliefs...  started talking to more than I had been to a friend who is not only pagan, he is specifically Asatru...  now, that particular belief subset doesn't feel right to me, but several long conversations with  him inspired me to do a little research.  Honestly, what inspired me to do the research was the realization that on some level, I never took Paganism seriously...   probably because the people I know who practice it seriously are fairly private about their practice, and those who are public tend to be... well...  flakey. Talking to Asatru guy made me realize I had a negative bias towards the pagan religion(s)... if you can even truly categorize it as a religion (I don't mean that negatively, I'm just not sure that's the right word for those belief sets...).

Anyway, after doing some research, I still have a hard time taking "magic", "coven" and "witch" seriously, but I have a better understanding of the basic range of beliefs encompassed by "pagan" and find myself drawn to some of them.  Some don't fit right at all...  but some just have the right feel to them. The idea of thanking the universe, for example... and honoring and celebrating the arrival of spring and the rebirth of the world.  The christian faiths don't honor the world we live in, and I've often found that a little lacking with out quite realizing what the problem was.  I long ago started question whether or not I can call myself "christian", realizing that I'm much more of a spiritualist with christian leanings... I think I can add pagan leanings to it, although that is still such a new concept that I'm struggling with it.    This will be an interesting adventure.

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