I love the college I teach at. I love the people, I love the students, I love the staff and Faculty, I love the campus. But like anyone who is in a relationship, I also know that school isn't perfect and neither am I. I know I have flaws. I'm not sure the college, and the Department specifically in specific knows theirs.
My boss ask to speak to me Wednesday morning. She closed the door, and told me that the students were ready to revolt in the shop, and that it is specifically my fault. The frustrations have been many apparently. Overly critical, not supportive, not teaching the things they need to work on the projects they have, not being present in the shop enough to teach them what they need, pushing too hard, making them feel responsible for the success or failure of a production. A fear of making a mistake for fear of being yelled at. Not appreciating the work they do. A lack of patience for their learning. There are more, but they generally fall under the category of meanness. Because of these things, many of the students have expressed a desire not to return to the school next semester. I was shocked to hear these complaints. To be fair, I can see where some of them come from, and I will do my best to change those- specifically the idea that I'm not in the shop enough, and that I can sometimes be overly picky. The rest, I don't understand, and frankly, I reject. I do push students. I push them because I expect them to use the knowledge they have learned in their classes or have learned on previous projects. I expect them to learn to think about what they are doing and the choices they make. I expect them to remember how to figure out what the appropriate length screw is after they have had it explained in class and then used it in the shop repeatedly. I expect them to be invested in the production work they do, because that is what they are in school for... and the entire industry is founded on the concept "the show must go on" and that you have to do whatever you need to do to finish the show. I make absolutely no apology for chewing them out for doing unsafe things with tools that could cost them fingers or broken bones. I make no apology for telling them when they have done something wrong and showing them how to fix it.
I fully accept that I have said or done things that the students have every right to be upset about, even though I never meant them in any sort of negative way. Having said that though, I think the department as a whole is doing itself a disservice by not looking at other factors that may have contributed. When the workload is overwhelming and the stress level is through the roof, it creates an environment that is primed and ready for frustration and anger.
A department that has positions under "term" conditions (6 years max) specifically because "you don't want to be climbing a ladder when you're 60" and "this is a production heavy department, people get tired" seems to be a department that simultaneously demands people burn themselves out for the department and then blames those same people for allowing the shows to be "to big". It seems to me that this department needs to reevaluate its choices and what it finds to be important. I find it particularly interesting that when I bring up challenges in related department, I'm told "its ok, change happens" but when I bring up something in my area, I'm told "its always been that why and has worked, why is it a problem now".
There is a lot more to this situation, but at a minimum, I feel there is some serious disfunction in the department, and it doesn't seem like anyone is interested in fixing it. I say this while honestly enjoying my job and hoping the situation could be fixed.
Since I started writing this a couple days ago, some interesting things have happened. First, none of the students have said anything more than that they were having a really hard day, and/or questioning whether or not they want to stay in theatre as a future profession- none of which actually directly affects me, aside from the realization that these students have been pushed really really hard this semester, and we MUST be more aware of that and make it stop. I will not address this with my boss as I'm afraid she will continue to turn it back around on me. The second thing that has happened is a very interesting phone interview for a new position. One of the people on the search committee knows my boss and another collegue and asked my permission to speak to them. When I gave those two a heads up that they would be hearing from their friend. My bosses response? She said the thinks I'm fabulous and would hate to lose me, but if I want the job she will tell them to hire me, and if the person she is talking to has any pull, I'll get the job. I wish she could make me feel valuable the rest of the time.
**edit. Didn't get the other job, but am ok with it... at the very least, will break the 4 year job change cycle, and I LOVE the new house. Just need a roomie to help pay for it! **
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